The Bedtime Series | Season 1, Ep 1 : Prelude

It’s nice to be back. Back to writing more and thinking more; typing less and gazing at mobile screens less. (Well, technically, even this is a screen, but you know what I mean).

I just saw the first episode of this series on Netflix called ‘Inside Bill’s Brain’ with my mom. We got to about twenty minutes of the first episode when my mom said she’s going to sleep. Being the good son I pretend to be, I said okay and turned it off. I’d be lying if I said I am okay inside. I am not. I am feeling weirdly AWAKE. I haven’t felt this awake in a while. I am so inspired, I’m actually in a daze right now. I didn’t know what to do but just open medium.com and write something about how I feel. I also thought I should start this series on my bedtime thoughts, how the day went, what I did, how I behaved and what I should felt should have been done/spoken/felt better by me during the day. Let’s get started.

I’m at this juncture in life where I’m neither here nor there. Three and a half years ago, I took the plunge and started working in the IT industry for the first time. This was after studying to be a mechanical engineer, selling books for a living & completing an MBA. Frankly speaking, I did not have high hopes from myself. And to be fair, I did miserably, at least in the first four months of my journey. I must have been the worst performing ‘cloud consultant’ (that’s the term all new sales consultants get at our organization) in the history of our company. Thankfully, my mind, personality and general circumstances did take a turn for the better. Somewhat like a modern, SaaS-based fairytale, if you like. :)

Having built a global business (to some extent), I am now in this transition phase, with some amazing people working with me (reducing my work a lot), and a great new leader joining us soon. I am really proud of how my 2017,2018,2019 and finally, 2020 selves have set the stage for the 2021 self to create something new. But I had not counted on the 2021 self to be such a procrastinator when it comes to working on himself. (It is a daily struggle to get him to even complete his resume). With the deadline (May 3rd) approaching fast, and so many different exciting dreams, goals and directions in front of him, the 2021 self is being a REAL pain in the ass. So yes, this series might also help create some sort of clarity for this funny human being I have become — A little older, quieter, calmer, more content, slightly more bearable (to the people closest to me) and definitely a lot more loving of human beings around me.

Let me end this prelude by sharing a bit of what I felt today — While I had a slightly busier Saturday than I would have liked to, again working on a lot of ‘real estate’ related items for my mom, I did get some chances to reflect, meditate (drive) and think about life during my waking hours. But the highlight of the day was, without a doubt, the twenty minutes I spent watching Netflix just now. I know I’ll want to do something more meaningful in my next journey (career-wise), and The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation does seem like a wonderful option to think about and add to my list of ‘dream companies’ to target. There’s a lot to be done to improve the world. And I do need to start somewhere. Let’s see.

Abrupt end warning. But can’t think of anything more to write about right now. So until tomorrow, good night.