6 lessons I’ve learned from my Youngest Mentor.
Over the last three decades, I’ve been lucky enough to be mentored by some absolute rockstars, from my mom to founders and (indirectly), even by global celebs & leaders like Barack Obama and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.
There was one connecting thread among all the previous mentors I’d had the pleasure of learning from — They were all at least a decade older than me and had seen a LOT more of life than me.
Last year, I met my youngest mentor. He’s even younger than me!
These last few months have been such an exhilarating ride — to have worked with, learned from and grown with one of the most unique (and exceptional) individuals I have had the pleasure of knowing and being mentored by.
Here are 6 lessons I’ve learned from him in the last one year of working together:
1. The Energy we exude
In one of Oprah Winfrey’s podcasts, she’s talking to Jill Bolte Taylor, a Brain Scientist who introduced the concept of ‘Being responsible for the energy we bring to a room’. (Here’s the link to the podcast). They talk about how each of us can bring positive energy or not-so-positive energy in our day to day interactions.
The first time I met my mentor, before I even knew I was going to start working with him, the only thing I thought about was ‘Man this dude brings so much energy to a room’. And it never stopped amazing me ever since.
Every meeting, every pitch, every team call or deal strategy — The dude exudes ‘ENERGY’ and so much of it. And it’s all positive, and driven energy — infectious to say the least.
One evening in Bangalore, we’d had a really long day (even longer for my mentor since he had 2 more meetings than me that day) — And our most important meeting was scheduled to be the last meeting of the day. He was uncharacteristically low on energy that day, primarily because of a sudden bout of cough & cold. I was worried if he’ll be okay to sit through the meeting.
Well, I was in for a surprise.
Once we entered the meeting room, something took over him, he transformed into the super energy rockstar he always is. The meeting was scheduled for 1 hour and it went on for over 2 hours, with laughs, smiles, and great outcomes.
I’ve been so much more conscious of the energy I’m bringing to a room and I believe that just by observing him I’ve pushed the envelope of how we can transform the energy of any room we are walking into.
2. The founder’s mindset
As employees, when we work for a company, we tend to focus on our own personal growth, our own goals and may start to think transactionally about our day to day responsiblities.
In the world of sales, for instance, we may only focus on hitting our targets and achieving our numbers.
This is not wrong, per se, but as I’ve come across different types of individuals in my personal and professional experiences, the truly successful souls are the ones who’ve balanced self-achievements with doing the ‘right’ thing for others.
My mentor embodies this and takes it to another level. He has a clear focus on ‘helping’ others succeed, and doing right by customers, founders, and partners.
In my first couple of months working in this new role with my mentor, I was trying to close a gaming startup and was very excited about the $ value of the deal. The end of quarter was approaching and I was tuned to doing anything & everything to close the deal.
My mentor point blank asked me, ‘Are we doing right by the customer?’ Is this the right time for them to be paying us or can we support them in optimizing their usage, and perhaps close this a few months down the line?
I was blown away. As soon as he said it, I knew. In my gut I knew this wasn’t the right time and we should let this go for now.
Through that experience and multiple others we’ve had since then, he made sure I understand ‘why we do what we do’. To help others — founders succeed.
Yes, our numbers are important and we should work as hard as possible to blow them out of the park. But at the core of everything we do should be that clear mindset of ‘Are we doing right by the folks who’ve placed our trust in us’.
3. Being mindful
Most of us are ‘hustling’. We’re trying to build ‘our’ career, hitting ‘our’ targets and making sure we’re doing the best ‘we’ can. As part of this ‘hustle’ sometimes we tend to go through our day-to-day tasks without being mindful about what we’re doing, whom we’re meeting and living each moment fully.
Most of us go through our day to day lives without even acknowledging folks who may not be directly involved in our work but are supporting us, silently.
The Chai Point vendor who got us great chai when we needed it the most, the security guard at the reception who smiled at us, the Uber (or Rapido) driver who dropped us off on time for an important meeting. We may not even think twice about them.
We were at a cafe once, and my mentor was placing an order for a founder and for his team. Once he’d placed the order, the barista repeatedly kept asking him if he’d like to order anything else. After the third time, even I started feeling irritated and was about to say something. But my mentor just turned to the Barista, smiled and asked her if she would like to have something. Not ridiculing the Barista but genuinely asking her if she’d like to order something for herself. She smiled, got the hint and took the order, laughing.
It was such a beautiful moment.
By being mindful, he is also genuinely good to everyone around him. There’s a child-like energy in how he approaches even the smallest of things. And a kindness to everyone around him, whomever he meets. He also doesn’t get flustered by randomness around him and is able to, in his own unique way, let people know when they’re not being very clear or reasonable, with simplicity.
Just making sure we bring our best selves to the world around us, mindfully.
4. Grit, Prioritsation and Win-Win!
I always used to think I am positive and driven. And yes, I am and I do think this is a personal strength but even I have my limits — when a deal is not progressing as expected or a customer is just being unreasonable or if someone pushes back a LOT and just doesn’t want to learn something new. I’d not push beyond a certail level. (That’s why I believe I’m not good at sales).
But my mentor never gives up. Period.
Reminds me of a popular dialogue from a Shah Rukh movie:
itni shiddat se maine tumhe paane ki kaushish ki hai,
ki har zarre ne mujhe tumse milane ki saazish ki hai.
If the door is slightly open, he wants us to find ways to push a little, squeeze our foot inside and then push the door open. If the door is shut, he’ll strategize on ways to find other doors to get inside any room, anywhere.
And we’ve done so many exceptional things together — closed amazing deals, opened up conversations that have been dead and gone above & beyond (my) wildest expectations.
My mentor also taught me the art of ‘Ruthless Prioritisation’.
Knowing our goals, how we want to achieve those goals and different ways to get there is Step 1.
Step 2 is prioritising our time, our energy and our focus to achieving those goals. Learning to say NO to things that are noise, and won’t really help us move towards our outcomes is another major learning.
I’ve always been in awe of how sometimes if you just keep pushing in the right direction and don’t give up, you’ll eventually see things falling into place. Yes, you need a ton of patience but you also need a lot of grit and ruthless focus.
5. Looking out for each other
One of the most important traits I’ve learned from my mentor is how we should always have each other’s back.
I’ve worked with many leaders in the past but the hands on approach my mentor brings to the table is exceptional. I just know that I can count on him whenever I need him. It could be as high level as connecting with investors to get intel, or on-ground support such as a demo call he can take when I’m not available or just a simple check-in with a founder to see how their team is feeling about working with me.
We were talking about leadership one day and the one theme that came up during our conversation was the concept of ‘ambiguity’. When a leader can create an environment of safety, unambiguity and surety for the team, the team can thrive.
As a team, knowing that the leader has your back, is with you in your journey and you can count on them to be there when you need them, is invaluable.
There have been umpteen situations where we’ve worked together on different goals — sales, partnerships or even coaching a teammate. All these experiences have been life lessons in disguise.
Looking out for each other also means sharing feedback where it is due. The way my mentor structures constructive feedback can in itself be a masterclass. Clear focus on the strengths and definite points on areas of improvement. No ambiguity there too.
We’ve had many successful (and some failed) pitches, converted lost causes to wins, built a team over the last few months, gone through many ups & downs and had a lot of fun doing all this just because of the certainty that comes with knowing that my mentor will be looking out for me.
6. Work Hard, Party Harder! :)
P.S. This is true for my senior mentors and I was pleasantly surprised to see my youngest mentor embody this as well.
At work, we strategise the largest deals, we will work on multiple paths to achieving our goals and we do give our all in trying to the best every single day. We love to hustle hard at our work.
At home, we try to build better relationships, we try to be better children, siblings, friends and acquaintances.
Overall we try to balance both worlds as best possible.
This positive hustle to do our best, and be our best drives most of us us, helps us perform and makes us who we are, at work and at home.
At the end of the day, coming together as a team and celebrating our wins, our losses and our togetherness is what makes the journey worth it.
Taking out time to think about how we’d like to celebrate, where we’d like to go and making sure everyone in the team has a good time is very important to my mentor.
I’d probably not think so much for personal or professional experiences but the way he approaches recreation made me think again.
If we can give our all to the hard work we put in, why don’t we put in the same focus and meaning into how we want to enjoy with our team or our loved ones?
Also, being a constant cheer leader for one’s team is a tough job, especially when you’re a leader in a fast paced medium-sized organization. You’re mostly doing things alone and have to ‘give’ a lot more than you ‘receive’.
In these circumstances, my mentor continues to cheer us, motivate us and inspire us, tells us to relax and take time to unwind — All this while he is under immense pressure himself. A truly remarkable and selfless focus on the greater good.
All in all, I truly hope these six lessons help a lot of us be better, think a bit differently and continue to add value to everyone around us.
That’s what life is all about.
Cheers!
